Moving From 'Stuck' Towards Success

So often in life we find ourselves stagnating or feeling as if we are running on the spot. It's not as if we aren't doing things but what we are doing doesn't seem to make any difference to our situation. It is so frustrating and demoralising, yet in spite of how uncomfortable we are, we can't get out of that rut. How can we get ourselves from inertia into moving forward towards a much better outcome?

An inability to change an unsatisfactory situation can, more often than not, be linked to being fearful of doing things differently. Floundering in this fear of the unknown, you might say to yourself:

But what if I fail?

What will others think about me?

I might be worse off.

What if I actually succeed? I'll have to live up to higher expectations. I'll have more responsibility.
Who am I to think things can be different?

I'm not clever enough ... good enough ..., etc.

There is likely to be a whole range negative self talk which tells you there is no way you can move on and it gives you permission to never make an effort to try something different. You can get paralysed by the 'What if this or that happens?' conversations you have in your head. If you buy into this kind of negative thinking, there is no way your situation is likely to improve.

Mark Twain once said, 'If you think you can't, or you think you can; you're probably right'.

If you want more out of life - in relationships, health or career - how about taking charge and setting a direction for yourself, rather than just allowing life to toss you around leaving you without any clear sense of where you will end up?

So what will start moving you towards what you want?

Determine your outcome

Ask yourself what the outcome is, that you truly desire. This outcome must be clearly and concisely stated in positive terms. Looking at it from your current perspective it should be realistic in order for you to believe that it is possible. Thinking big is great but in the early stages of changing your thinking it could become overwhelming. So, if the achievement of your desire seems like a huge leap for you. Perhaps it would be best to create a series of smaller steps that will eventually take you to that larger goal. Or, to develop your abilities in goal setting, you could practise on a series of short term goals. There should be a real feeling of conviction about hitting the target. Then, as you start to create a track record of success, your growing confidence may allow you to become bolder with the steps you take.

Ensure that your goal is ecological

You also need to ensure that your goal is ecological. Whatever success means to you, achieving it does not necessitate that you diminish or deprive others in the process. It is important when deciding what you want for yourself, that the welfare of others and even the planet is considered. Ask yourself, 'What are the ramifications of setting this goal?' If the result is likely to be beneficial or at least cause no harm for others, then there is much more likelihood of you gaining outside support in the process.

Always state your goal as if it has already been achieved

Always state your goal as if it is already here in the present, but with a precise future date included. Never state it in the future tense, as that tends to keep it always in the future and out of reach. Also, being 'towards' motivated rather than 'away from' motivated, makes it much more powerful e.g. 'A million dollars enables me to live a comfortable lifestyle and help other people.' (moving towards wealth). Rather than, 'A million dollars takes me out of debt.' (away from debt). Believe it or not, the language you use has a strong effect on your psychology.

Set clear benchmarks for achieving your goal

Finally, your goal setting requires that have a clear idea of what needs to happen in order for you to know that you have achieved your goal. It is the evidence of your success.

For example: It is now May 15, 2010 and I am taking my bow to tumultuous applause after my triumphant debut performance at Covent Garden Opera House.

For a talented, dedicated, hard working singer, who feels passionate about having a successful operatic career, this could well be an achievable goal. At the point of writing it down, it could seem like an enormous stretch but if broken down into smaller very reachable goals that are heading in direction of the 'big picture', a pattern of success will develop, build confidence and keep motivation high.

Why not set a goal now by filling in the spaces.

It is now ____________________________________________ (future date)

I am/I have ___________________________________________ (end step)

Be creative and use emotionally charged language that has meaning for you so that the statement has real power.

Now it's time to connect with your desired outcome. Create a mental picture of your final step. Make it as real and as vivid as you possibly can. In your mind's eye step right into this picture see who is there with you, turn up the colours and movement, hear the sounds around you, smell the smells or taste the tastes associated with the scene and feel the feelings of achieving your heart's desire. Relax and have fun with this exercise. Enjoy it. Believe you deserve this. Then step out of the picture, trusting that that the manifesting process has begun.

So, what else can you do to assist this manifestation process?

Consider the following:

Work out an action plan and do something that creates movement towards your outcome each day, no matter how small that might be.
If you know of someone who has already achieved this goal, or something similar, find out what they did to propel themselves forward and use them as a role model. Adopt similar strategies.
In order to move out of a 'stuck' state, be willing to operate differently. If you always do what you have always done you will more than likely get the same result.
Be flexible when faced with obstacles that will probably test your resolve - you may need to adjust your action plan.
If you do something that clearly doesn't work remember that there is no failure only feedback. Find the lesson (or seed of success) and apply it.
Ask yourself, 'Who do I need to be?' Consider the personal qualities and skills that may need to be developed or polished.
Paint or draw a picture about your goal - tap into all your positive emotions.
Create an intention board on which you paste pictures that represent the things associated with your goal. Look at it regularly.
Associate with like minded people who will be positive and encouraging.
Your new focus on your desired outcome will draw your attention to opportunities that may have previously escaped your attention. If those opportunities feel good, act on them
Get a coach or a trusted 'accountability friend' who will keep you on track.
Give thanks and celebrate all you have achieved so far and the gifts that have come your way in life. Gratitude attracts more good things into your life.

I wish you well on your path to success, whatever that may be. There are many people who have achieved great things. Read their inspiring stories. You may very well glean something that will help you on your unique journey.